I wish my education was back on track but I was starting to lose motivation. I was finding it difficult to put forth the effort, I think because I'm ready for the real thing now, or at least I feel like I am.

But not just with school, with other parts of my life too.

I've either got to meet someone soon or accept the fact that I'm single. I think I'm making this harder than it is (being single I mean...).

I guess it bothers me because for a while there, things were so good, great almost.

Better than they've ever been.

But in the end it all slipped away. And maybe I'm having trouble with it all now because so much is unknown to me about what the hell happened.

The funny thing is I know she thinks I didn't try to work things out before ending it.

I know I did. I tried talking to her about it several times.

And as happy as I was, I haven't really even shed a tear over it.

Maybe my heart's grown callouses.

God, that sounds like a lame country song or something.

I don't know.

But maybe the whole point of life isn't to feel good all the time the way everyone wishes they did.

Maybe the whole point is simply to feel. Good, bad, awful, hungover, whatever, just something.

Can you tell I watched the movie Jar Head tonight?